Uh

I just realized I clsoed my last two blogs the same way.

Completely accidental, no joke.

I just thought it was funny.

:P

New leaf, new tree, new forest

I'm DOOOOOONE with nonsensical stress and worry! Oh joy, oh boy, oh my, this will be a great summer and I will make it that way despite what you might have to say about it.

I will get a job.

I will EXPLORE places I've never been to on foot before.

I will somehow brave that damned trestle because I think it'd be awesome to go onto it.

...

Wait, is it still in use? I'll figure that one out.

Anyways, blogger.com is confusing. Apparently I cannot follow anymore blogs or something. Strange, strange, strange.

My room is clean. I got a 97 on a Spanish Regents, and did just DANDY on my others.

No summer project (booyah), and I get to look forward to a summer dedicated entirely to happiness.

Happiness, let's define that quick.

Dictionary.com says:

–noun
1.
the quality or state of being happy.
2.
good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

Yes, I suppose that will work out just fine. You know what song is great? Audience of One by Rise Against, I was listening to it and it just made me happy, although it's a sad-ish song?

A lot of depressing music amuses me, actually. For example...Every song by Jeff Buckley? (R.I.P.)

Anyways, I'll blog more this summer, without a doubt, because I'll try to make important crap happen in my life by involving myself with the world and getting off of this computer.

Gooooooodbye.

Take a picture, and write a letter to my love.

So I'm kinda sick. My stomach has been bothering me today and I've been sort of ignoring it and just mowed my entire lawn. As stupid of an idea as that sounds, it seems to have helped. It doesn't hurt so much as it used to.

Today I'm thinking of plans for my summer.

Vermont, Vermont, Vermont, Vermont.

Anything else?

I have to think.

I wish Halloween fell on several different days of the year. I miss the cellars and dressing up and the Headless Horseman and Jack o Lanterns and oh gosh I'm babbling.

I'll try and get Max to get lost in the woods with me again. We always do that several times a year and I believe there is no hunting season at the moment.

It's really gorgeous, actually, because it's fairly uphill behidn my house into the woods. By the time you reach the fields you can see the entire valley. I'll be sure to take pictures next time I'm up there.

Anyways, I'm starving so I'm going to go eat.

Goooooooodbye.

All of my dreams and my passions are in Your hands.

I don't really feel like sitting around anymore.

I'm reaching my junior year of high school, meaning my childhood is soon to be over.

So I've been attempting to involve myself in anythign and everything. I have a gym membership, I've begun going to Church, I'm hanging out with friends more.

I'm trying to enjoy myself with the two years I have left here.

It's a bit depressing, but everything changes.

I'm hoping for a lot of things to happen before I graduate.

I'd like to work at the Sinister Cellars for both years I have left here.
I want to bring Max on a cross country road trip and explore things I've never seen before.
I want to have a good long term relationship with a girl, and have it hurt like hell when we have to split up when one of us has to go.
And I want to keep myself looking up towards the stars at night, drawing my dreams in them and hoping I can lasso my way up to them one day.

Don't let days slip by without doing something you can look back and remember on.

One Year Today

Turn things back a year, what were you doing?

Me?

I was taking a girl out to a movie (Her father attended, but that's aside the point) and we began dating.

The only people who will ever read this blog already know about her and everything that happened, though somehow I doubt this is even ever read.

I guess it's just a strange feeling, looking back and thinking of how much we spoke about wanting to last so long together and having it end in eight short months. It makes you wonder how you would have spent days like today.

I hope for her happiness all the time, and I think for the most part, she is really happy. And that's comforting.

I realize that everything really is over. That she isn't coming back, and I'll never have moments like that back again. But that's okay.

My feelings for her probably will not change for a while still, but once again, that's okay.

Sometimes what you want isn't always the best thing, right?

"There's nothing in motion, and I'm satisfied."

Sometimes I wonder if San Diego would be a good idea.

I'd miss everyone so much, but what kinds of opportunities would wait in California? Of course, all that may not be happening, it's just a possibility.

I suppose all of this roots down to what I want and need. I broke down last night, for the first time in years. I don't think I've cried like that since my uncle passed away, and I needed it so badly. I'm glad I was able to let it out, but it makes me question how happy I am in my current situation, what I should change, keep the same, etc.

I feel like a chameleon sometimes.

I went through my memory box last night, I think that's what started all of that. I enjoy nostalgia too much, I have yet to realize how bittersweet it really is.

I wouldn't have these memories in San Diego.

Five

Inspiration seems to come from the most random things for me. I could be talking to someone and out of nowhere I'll formulate a plot for a story out of the conversation. I think it's pretty cool, especially since I like the story I have in mind. Though, it's a bit tragic. It might upset me to write it, but I still like what's going to happen.

Maybe I'll post some snippets here after I finish the first draft, but it won't be very much. I wanna start small, make it a short story first, then a novella, then maybe a novel, if I can make it long enough. I'd rather not overwhelm myself.

I've also gotten more into reading again. It took a while, but I found a bunch of literature I actually enjoy, especially Stephen King. I began a book of his titled, "On Writing, a Memoir of the Craft" where he explains his techniques to developing a story. It's helped me out a lot, and his fiction is marvelous too.

Well, I think that's about it for now.